How People with Anxious Attachment Style React to Breakups
It’s harder to handle the loss when you’re anxiously attached.
My first love broke up with me out of the blue. He said, “I think we would be better off as friends.” He didn’t elaborate or tell me why he felt that way, and I didn’t probe him for more information; I just accepted his decision. I did not beg or plead for him to stay, although I wanted to. And while my heart was crushed, I never let him know how devasting the breakup was for me.
Breakups are hard, no matter what. This is mainly because breaking up means giving up on someone you’ve invested a lot of time and energy in. When you break up, the relationship that once felt good ceases to exist. And it can feel like you’re losing a piece of yourself when a connection is unraveling.
Even more than that, the end of a relationship means giving up all the hope, excitement, and anticipation for the future together. Any expectations for happily-ever-after with the other person instantly wash down the drain. And if things appeared to have been going well, like it was for me, breaking up can be even more difficult.
The time immediately following a breakup can feel excruciating and unbearable, but after the dust settles, it’s not uncommon to feel relief. At least that’s how I felt.
