#4 They keep in touch — without being stalker-ish.

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On our very first date, I declared to my partner that I was looking for the type of relationship where I could feel everything. I explained that I understood the risk of being vulnerable and the potential for heartbreak — yet I had a strong desire to go all in.

During my spiel, his celestial blue eyes never lost contact with mine. He did not try to convince me of his willingness to do the same. Nor did he try to sell me on the potential for peril. He just listened.

And when he was certain that I had fully…


Life is cyclical — and circles have no beginning or end.

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The span of a human life perpetuates the illusion that life begins with birth and ends with death, but it’s not true.

Life is cyclical — and circles have no beginning or end.

There is so much more than your eyes can see. You are so much more than your mind can comprehend. And your connections run so much deeper than your heart can fathom.

Every person in your life has been strategically placed. There are no accidental meetings and no transient ties. Your relationships may appear briefly in the human realm, but real bonds know no boundary.

The cycle…


Address your concerns or cut your losses.

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Dear Stacey,

I have been single for nearly a year after ending a long-term relationship. I am currently talking to a guy I met at a shopping mall (sounds so 90’s, right?!).

He’s handsome, well-spoken, and gainfully employed. Never been married, but he has two daughters that he adores.

We have gone out on several dates and hung out a few times. He calls me every morning and texts me throughout the day, which makes me feel good. He is passionate about social issues and has solid political opinions, so our conversations are diverse.

He’s a nice well-rounded guy, for…


Consider this your invitation to the lighter side of living.

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I have experienced some massive shifts over the past couple of years. Recognizing wounds and patterns that have inhibited me from growing. Noticing where I am trusting and allowing. Owning the areas where I am shrinking and playing small.

I am consistently a work in progress.

One of the shifts that I am most proud of is — I am FINALLY beginning to release my attachment to the need to be right!

For as long as I can remember, I have been operating under the guise that I had to be right to be valid. That meant that I was…


Goofing off should always be a shared activity.

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Full disclosure — this post is a distraction.

See, I am writing a novel, and today I am supposed to be working on character development. Instead, I am writing this post (there are worst things).

And since I am a firm believer that goofing off should always be a shared activity — I’m inviting you along.

Of course, you could totally [X] out of this post and get back to work. Or you could let your curiosity get the best of you and keep reading. You won’t be disappointed— pinky promise. 😉

“I thought the most important rule was, why…


Make sure they are an enthusiastic yes — the whole way thru.

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My former partner was overbearing. He didn’t come off as a bully — but he was bullish. He was used to getting his way and was not emotionally mature enough to respect differing perspectives. And he approached sex the way he approached life — his way or the highway.

Then I came along with my strong will and brawny personality. I do not shy away from challenges, and I am not easily intimidated. And that’s what he loved about me.

He was inspired by my tenacity and enjoyed having spirited conversations with me. …


…but focus on what they do

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Sometimes the things you need to hear the most are never said. Words often get lost in the space between ego and perception. But feelings always reveal the truth.

Words only tell part of the story. They give syntax to behavior but often misinterpret intention. Feelings, on the other hand, create space for the motion of energy… emotion.

Pay attention to what people say, but focus on what they do. Look at their expression. Notice their eyes. See their hands. Feel their energy. The language of the body is accurate.

Be present in your own body so that you may…


Practice makes better.

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There are millions of people out there who want to be boo’d up. So if you desire to be partnered — join the club! You’re not alone.

Unfortunately, if you are like the average person, you may have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like or how to create one. Primarily because you’ve probably never seen one in real life. And without a healthy blueprint, you are doomed to repeat the mistakes of your examples.

But if you have a strong desire to be coupled, keep reading because I’m about to share seven things that you should start doing…


…instead of ghosting.

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Relationship-ing is not easy.

But you know what’s harder? Dating.

Don’t get me wrong, dating can be fun too. First, you meet someone, make plans to hang out, and get to know each other better. Then, if all goes well, you make plans for a second date. And if it doesn’t — they simply disappear.

Wait, that’s not how that’s supposed to go…

But now that online dating (OLD) is the number one way to meet a potential mate, people seem to have forgotten their manners. Unfortunately, our growing dependence on meeting in virtual spaces has also created a lack…


It’s science — chemistry comes first.

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The moment he laid eyes on her, he knew he had to have her.

Her form intoxicated him. The curve of her hips and the arc of her back. She was shaped like a coke bottle with big tits, thick thighs, a fat ass, and a small waist. The way her long dark flowing hair framed her round face added to her mystery. Her full lips were painted blood-stain red. In contrast, her dark smoky eyeshadow brightened her tea-colored irises.

She was the kind of woman he fantasized about in his teens. But, of course, he’s always been drawn to…

Stacey Herrera

Library Fine Payer | Relationship-ing Practitioner | Jalapeño Lover | Intimacy + REALationship Coach | Get updates💋 http://bit.ly/StaceyMails

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